Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Switching to commercial paper towels

I use paper towels because 15 minutes after you leave that damp rag on the counter, the bacteria that live there double in population. After an hour their numbers are 16 times what they started at. if it has been sitting there overnight? 250 million times. All bacteria need are moisture and a food source and they can thrive. So...I switched to paper towels. it turns out, commercial is cheaper than residential paper towels. You can buy a wall mounted automatic paper towel dispenser and never have to worry about spreading the bacteria from your hands back onto the roll of paper towels, because then you spread the bacteria around next time you grab a paper towel. Counter productive.

Georgia Pacific makes some quality paper towels that won't fall apart with frustrated spill-based agitation and they make an Automatic Paper Towel Dispenser that allows you to set the length of the paper towel down to as small as a half length towel. This is perfect for preserving your paper towels. This allows you to portion the paper towel based on the spill, so you don't waste a whole towel on a half towels spill!

If you have an amazon prime account you can buy them by the roll and get free two day shipping.
OR you can order them by the case of 6 and get them for almost half off! (Unfortunately they aren't prime eligible by the case.)


What do you do with all those left over paper towels? Put them in a separate bin and mix in a blue oyster mycelium kit (after you fruit the kit!) and grow some blue oyster mushrooms on them!

Tuesday, June 9, 2015

How Kerrygold butter gave me a flavOrgasm.

Kerrygold Butter is easily the best butter I have ever tasted by far. It's a flavOrgasm in my mouth making it the only butter I will ever use. (If you think you have a better butter email me) It tastes like happy cows making milk on small farms where they have names and people care about them. This butter is imported from Ireland, THE steriotypical place to hear “sorry we're late, the road was blocked by (cows, chickens, sheep etc...)” it's not ALL of Ireland, but there are some parts like that. I live in Texas, I don't own a horse, but I know people who do. But back to the butter.

This butter can make a microwave burrito go from soggy sustenance to a FANTASTICO PARTY FOR ONE IN YOUR MOUTH! You think I'm joking...

Put your burrito in the microwave and follow the manufacturers directions. While that is cooking, get out a skillet and heat it to medium high heat, spreading a thin coating of butter on the pan. The goal is to get it as hot as it can get without browning the butter . On my range it's somewhere between medium high and high. Once the microwave goes off place the burrito soggy side down in the skillet (usually its the bottom) and wait for 30 seconds. Check the bottom for browning, once the bottom starts browning it is 10-20 seconds away from being a wonderfully golden and crispy. Flip the burrito and do the same thing on the other side. Once your are done put the burrito in a paper towel and just smell it. (read: wait a few seconds for it to cool down.)

Look at this B-E-A-UTIFUL BURRITO! The tortilla is a wonderful, buttery, flaky, crispy bite with a soft chew. I make freezer burritos by the dozen and crisping them in Kerrygold butter takes them from OK to OHMY.

If you would have asked me last year if I would ever blog about butter I would have said “Absolutely butter is the best!” but after Kerrygold, liking other butters is like saying margarine is just as good, it's just not. There are 50 shades of butter. Happy cows make happy milk. Cows from concentrated animal feeding operations make milk that is full of stress hormones (Hypothalmic, Pituitary, Steroid, and Thyroid hormones) No wonder it tastes different. They are two different beasts altogether.

Kerrygold butter comes in Salted , Unsalted , and Reduced Fat versions and earns my big fat seal of approval. Kerrygold, if you read this and would like to fly me to tour your farms I would love to cover you!

My Favorite Blutetooth Speakers and USB chargers. Portable entertainment at its best.

My entertainment is pretty streamlined, I like music, friends, hiking, camping...if it's outside I am game. One of the important things in my bag is a bluetooth speaker so I can put on ambient music to hang out to. I have gone through countless cheap, import, one time buy, speakers to play music and they have all failed. This is mostly due to the cheap speaker, preamp, or shoddy solder work that comes apart once the speaker starts bumping.

Recently I got a JBL Flip 2 speaker off Amazon because my sister recommended it. I was hesitant to pay 100 bucks for a speaker that could fit in my pocket, but JBL has been around for a while so I knew they Couldn't be complete rubbish so I tried them out and I am so glad that I did!

This speaker is neat. It can fit in my pocket (it is a tight fit, but it fits)  On one end of the speaker there is an NFC coil so you can touch it with your phone to connect. On the other is a power button, a bluetooth button, volume buttons, and a phone button. If you get a phone call while you are listening to the speaker you can answer the call with the phone button and use the speaker as a microphone. Just talk into the JBL symbol! It can get loud enough to hear in a living room full of people, or at a barbecue, or some other social gathering where louder audio would be nice. I use mine in the car instead of using the radio because less electrical draw on the alternator means less mechanical draw on the engine and I get better gas mileage. It's versatile. It also has an auxillary-in port so you can listen to music without using the bluetooth and running down the battery on your phone. I usually don't worry about it because I have a RAV Power 16,000mwh battery pack to charge my Galaxy Note 3. It has enough juice to charge my phone to full multiple times before needing to be recharged, so I can go an entire day listening to music using my Phone/Speaker/Powerpack and not have to worry.

The JBL speakers come in three different versions.









The RAVPower Pack was an amazon stumble. I had previously bought a pack that sucked so I went for the one with the best reviews. Only 5% of the reviews on Amazon were under four stars, and it has a Samsung battery in it. So it has to be good right? It has not let me down in the least! Two charging ports so you can have your phone and the speaker plugged in when the batteries run low (around 5 hours of play later) The battery inside the JBL is 2000mah, so you can charge it eight times before charging the battery pack. That's over 40 hours of straight music, or 24 hours of music while charging my phone. More than enough for me.

*Edit: I had one of the charging ports stop working on me so I posted about it on Amazon and RAVPower Called me within 24 hours offering to replace it. Excellent customer service from a company that is proud of it's product. I am extremely satisfied and will continue to shop with them.

*UPDATE: They have a new pack out with a larger battery, additional charging port and a digital display! (The best part it that it is the same price as the 16,000mah pack!)




Sunday, June 7, 2015

My Favorite Can Openers

Can openers at grocery stores are a money grab for the most part. I haven't found a single one that worked consistently well. You can find a decent one at a restaurant supply store, or you can order one online. I have tried three models of can openers that I really liked. These are in no particular order, they all work great.

*Four if you count the World War era John Wayne p38 or p51 GI can openers.
I would highly suggest having one in your drawer as a go-to when your store bought one fails. They are less than a dollar and can fit on your key chain.
(I wonder if they named the can openers or the planes first?)

First is the Zyliss Lock N' Lift can opener.
I got to use this can opener after it had been used in an office for five years. I picked it up and used it without having to fandangle it. It had a lock that was easy to figure out. I liked that I didn't have to keep my hands grasping the can opener to open the can, just lock and twist. It opened my cans like new, even though it had been used commercially for years. It even worked to cut the top off aluminum cans to build a solar heater in my windows during the winter. I don't need all of my windows all of the time, so the sunny ones harvest the radiant heat from the sun and heat the air in my home. It doesn't cost anything for it to run, and it saves on your heating bill. Win win! The can opener even has a magnet on it that will pick the lid out of the can, and a lever you can press to release it into the trash or recycling without touching any sharp edges or messy can bottoms. I would highly recommend this can opener.
Zyliss is known for its "Swiss inspired quality" and their can opener is no exception.


The OXO Good Grips smooth edge can opener blew my mind when I saw it in action.
YOU CAN PUT THE LID BACK ON THE CAN! It isn't air or water tight, but it will help prevent bacteria spores from getting in your food while the lid is detached*, and you can drain liquids out of the can without a strainer!

 *Bad bacteria can give you gas or diarrhea and make you nauseous or vomit prone…Maybe all of the above.  But I am not trying to scare you. Bacteria makes up our physical world. You may be controlling the motor functions of your body, but bacteria are responsible for your immune system, your digestive system, you are covered in it from head to toe and there are over 700 species in your mouth alone. (I am sorry that I get so off topic, but the more you know right?) BACK TO THE CAN OPENER!

The OXO Good Grips can opener doesn't cut like a conventional can opener. It cuts the whole top off so there are no jagged edges. The way the opener cuts allows you to put the top back on the can after it's opened. It doesn't have a lock on it like the Zyliss so it is hard to use one handed. But other than that
this is a great can opener that will not let the lid fall into the can.


The Pampered Chef Smooth Edge Can Opener is the creme of the smooth edge crop.
Pampered chef is a great brand with a great reputation. This can opener is easy to use and cuts the can efficiently. Smooth edge can openers are the next generation of can openers and Pampered Chef was on top of the research and development department there. This can opener is almost perfect. It cuts the top off of the can so it won't fall into the can after you remove it. This is the smoothest working can opener I have ever operated. It isn't a dragging cutting feeling, it is a crisp confident cutting feeling feeling, and just like that, the top is off. All non consumable Pampered Chef products are covered by their one year guarantee. If it breaks while you are using it at home, they will fix or replace it. I have no experience with their returns department because I have never had to return anything. although it does not have a locking mechanism like the Zyliss, it is nearly effortless to use. I am definitely a satisfied customer.


Of course you have the OG can opener that opened meals for soldiers during the world. The p38 and p51 can openers were issued with wwII rations. They share names with wwII era planes but they aren't related (I mean, they are both fast…but that's about it.) The p51 is bigger, faster, and easier to use than the p38 and was issued with group rations.


These great can openers will not let you down in the office, in your kitchen, or your small restaurant. What can opener do you use? How long have you used it? What are your favorite and least favorite things about it?



Monday, January 19, 2015

Wasted

Feel free to read it, rap it, write it, remix it whatever's clever as long as you give me credit. If you make any money off of the work or any derivative work, please donate to the project.
Think about all the time
you wasted working for the dime
two thirds of your life go by
before you realize
that from the beginning, life was worth living
it's not what you get but what you have given
your body is temporary, so is your mind
your perspective will change as you're moving through time
your stop's coming up have you written your line?
Because God doesn't stop if you want to rewind.
And what of your stuff? These things that you cherish?
Are they going to last you until you should perish?
Or are they just trash with a use for some time.
With a fate in a hill just like you and I?
But CDs don't rot, computers and clocks
they were mined from the ground and drained from the rock
reacted with heat and formed into blocks
Cut up and molded and made into stock
Then thrown away, buried, without going back
to the oil they were, and not even cracked
and used once again as a bag or a box
In a space in a hole in the ground sit our clocks

Friday, December 26, 2014

Anger, Dissonance, and Attraction

You don't know me, but I am driving a machine that can type these words onto a computer. This machine can power itself, program and modify itself as needed. It possesses a communication system that allows it to efficiently transmit information to other machines, both locally, and globally. If the resources become available, these machines are able to build and program their own replacements. These machines can make connections in the environment around them. They can send a request to a server for practically any information they could ever need, download that information and interpret it along with all of the information it had stored previous. The result is a new program or subprogram that runs whenever relative connections are made to the stored information.

Run: Badapple.mem > Result: brown|bitter|bad|bruise|breaking|better|body|cancer|defense mechanism| Run: Isolate.Skill

It can remove a bruise from an apple by identifying that a bruise is bitter and bad, estimate it's shape and depth based on previous bruise removal operations, select and manipulate a tool to complete the task. Then wash, and return the tool to it's place.

It can make the connection that an apple bruise is like a cancer for the apple, that left unattended the weakened flesh would host bacteria and fungi that would penetrate into the core and produce toxins that would render the apple useful only as compost. Then it can compost it.

It can learn how to monitor and maintain the compost until it has completed breaking down. Then take the compost and use it in an agricultural system to grow produce.

It can learn about the life cycle of the produce and communicate with other machines who have also monitored similar agricultural systems and compare the technical details.

It can determine a fair market price for the produce and take either the living plants, the produce, or the compost and accompanying systems, to a place where it can be negotiated for. The product of the negotiation being used to improve the environment around the machine, to research and download new programs and skills.

If we were simple machines, we would strive toward efficiency and abundance. People, however, have feelings. This makes our world the dark and complicated place that it is today. Anger is the product of fear and weakness, because anger is a more dense form of energy it carries more influence when interacting with the environment.

Anger used toward someone can make them feel weak, and they in turn can lash out with a burst of anger trying to make you feel weak. Not because they want you to be weak, but because they don't want to be weak themselves.

Passive aggressiveness is a series of miscommunications as a result of built up dissonance. You are doing things differently than I would expect. Depending on the amount of dissonance between what you did and what I expected to happen, I will make an attempt to fill in the missing information.

If I can not make a logical connection, I feel weakness. Weakness is easier to store as anger, so you are obviously wrong. Not because you are wrong, and not saying that I am not wrong, but your right is too different from my right to be right, right now.


Anger is a possessive little beast, her sweet tongue feels so good on the inside of your ear. Her left hand will gently caress your body while her right hand grabs you by the heart and holds you close. You can feel her warmth against your body. Your pulse quickens, soon your whole body is warmer. She uses her free hand to find and light a pipe. She inhales hard then holds it in, making eye contact and moving in closer. Her lips press against yours and she blows the smoke into your body.

Before you can exhale your body is ridden of pain and filled with her love. Nothing can hurt you now. She smiles at you and keeps holding you close. As long as you keep loving her, she will keep you high. You can run away, for a day, a week, a year, or ten, and she will be waiting for you with arms wide open when you come back to her.

She is a mother, she is a defender, but she will cloud your judgment with her ideals and force you to make premature decisions if you let her. You have to understand your relationship with anger and understand that she may be everything that you can imagine as beautiful, but like any drug, she is best used in moderation. The problem is, she is easy. Like every day, for a good time call, she gets you high and you can ride that high to sleep. You survived another day. If you keep going to get high with anger all you will ever do is survive.

Instead, strive to understand, ask questions, don't be rude, repeat.